LAST DAY OF LOCK UP: War on a faulty system begins

Today should be my last day in this horrible place (St Vinnies, Mental Health Unit, Fitzroy). It's been a long and exhausting two weeks and I really hope that no one needs to go through this particular ordeal again. 

I've only been here an hour today- waiting for a part time, young, male psychiatrist to decide if I need to stay in here or not. The guy is a complete idiot and has not listened to one word I have said since admitting me two weeks back. More of my stuff has been stolen from my bedroom, someone has sprayed feces and vomit in my bathroom.

I have a very holistic approach to my mental illness and I have been managing it on my own for so long, everyones sudden interest in my mental health has been crippling and counter productive to me being admitted. 

Since being admitted I have become terrified of just about everyone, my sister tried to touch me yesterday and I freaked out. I've been telling all my friends and family about the treatment I need and they have made up in there heads that they know better. 

No one knows yourself better than you do and if you have someone in your family or friendship group suffering from mental illness, I suggest you just ask them what they need, not leave it up to a shitty underfunded mental health system to sort out. 

I may be out today but my fight with the system has just begun.

Fuck the Man and his greedy dollars.

Here is a quote from one of my favourite dudes that has kept me sane through this insane stay. 

Much Love,

Ruby Soho 

There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy, stifling state in which most people pass through life. I don’t want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don’t want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun – hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, “Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case.” I will turn and say to them “It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn’t even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!” And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.

Henry Rollins x