Suicidal Tendencies from Lock Up

This one is for my new mate Will who I met here in St Vinnies.

I wrote the song twelve years ago when I was his ageand my first thoughts of suicide came stumbling into my brain after society started bullshit pressures on me to act and be a certain way. 

I was 17 when I wrote the song just after some boys from school hacked into my computer and found a half naked picture of me, I had been using for a exercise/diet before and after picture. The boys then sent this image out to the peers in my year level, who made remarks like "she's got weird nipples" and "eywww gross". I went onto call the cops to help and they did nothing. I was to ashamed to tell my parents, so I used my guitar to heal my heart.

I've finished the song here from St Vincents Mental Health Unit today because I feel just as bad today..... after 1 week of illegal detention with no proper explanation, no where to go outside, no access to run (I've been able to train for my marathon), I have lost atleast $1500 in wages and it has severely crippled my new Record/Flower delivery business and worst off I haven't been able to play guitar, which is my onlt source of meditation. 

Me and my new mates (we call ourselves the inmates) are treated horribly. Like cattle on the way to slaughter- just drugging us up if we ask for anything. The other night I asked for my toast heated up and the nurse made me take a sleeping pill because I offended her when she said the government wouldn't allow it, and I pointed out the toaster in the locked kitchen.

This song is also too all the brothers and sisters society has lost to suicide.

I love you all and miss you tremendously.

I am hoping to bust out of this shit hole today and then record the solo album I've been meaning to record sice I first picked up my meditation stick (my guitar) when I was 13.

Suicidal Tendencies: By Ruby Soho (2004)

Re edited from the Loony Bin (2016)

Suical Tendencies are going through my head
Suicidal Tendencies and I am wishing I was dead

What the hell does one use when they are trying to kill one?

Should I use a knife or should I use a gun

Suicidal Tendencies are going through my head

Suicidal Tendencies and I am wishing I was dead

And leave my scattered corpse on pieces on the floor,

Maybe I should just jump of the twentieth floor

And clean up my scattered corpse in a rage they won't forget

So some poor soul can come clean up my mistake

Suicidal Tendencies are going through my head

Suicidal Tendencies are going through my head Suicidal Tendencies and I am wishing I was dead

And jump from my favorite tree and let my family deal with it

Or maybe I should just use this nuese and tie it around my neck

And forever his life can be filled with shitty fucking dreams

Then my baby brother can be the first to walk to the scene Suicidal Tendencies were going through your head

Suicidal tendencies and now you are dead

I know the pain your feeling brother and sister

But please don't choose suicide today

It will hurt the ones you care the most and

Because tomorrow will be a different and beautiful day

Suicidal tendencies are going through our heads

Suicidal tendencies but today we pick life not death.